1. |
19 Years
03:24
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Day breaks the way my heart does by night
And as bright as the sun shines, somehow I still can't see the light
Because I'm broken and I'm waiting for the sunrise
But it's hard to see the light of day through crying eyes
And it's been 19 years
19 years
And these blinding tears still keep me from seeing the world
But I'm not this girl
I'm not this girl with the world on her shoulders
But as I'm getting older I'm only sinking deeper, deeper, deeper
Into a nightmare- feels like I'll never ever escape
And every minute's more than I can take
And everything I do, everything I say
Just won't push this darkness away
What can I do? What can I do? What can I do?
After 19 years, 19 years
It's been 19 years and I still don't see the good in me
After 19 years, 19 years
And these blinding tears still keep me from seeing the world
Oh, but I'm not this girl, I'm not this girl
I never wanted to be this girl
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2. |
Let Me Go
05:36
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It's grown dark now, I can't feel you
Holding up my mind from a collapse
I'm alone now, with just a pencil in my hand
Held too tightly till the fucker snaps
Oh, it's just a normal day
No, somehow I'm not okay
And I'm too scared to tell you things
I never wanted you to have to know
So if you know what's good for you, let me go
Take me over, unadulterated black
Take the girl I was and send him back
He's so pretty, I will make him ill
I have so many holes just leaking lack
Oh, this love is so unfair
No, I'm not getting anywhere
You try so hard to help me
But the pain is so much deeper than you know
So if you know what's good for you, let me go
I can sense you're growing tenser
The expense I must be billing you, it's killing you
I am gone now, I was never here
Now that life has realized my fear
I'm sorry
Oh, your words mean nothing now
Yeah, my time is running out
And I'm praying for release
But the cost is so much higher than I know
So if you know what's good for you, let me go
Let me go
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3. |
Rebound
03:25
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It took me sober to see you drunk
Turns out you're not cool, and who'd have thunk
I see, you're only using me
I framed our picture beside my bed
You see me naked inside your head
I see, that's all you see in me
I saw you with her, you were together before
But I thought it was over when she settled the score
And now you're telling me things that you know aren't true
Cause you're still missing her and only thinking of you
What do I look like to you?
What do I look like to you?
Am I just her?
Am I just her?
Can I be me?
I asked him nicely to tell me straight
He told me twice he'd open the gate
That's it- I knew you were full of shit
You said you'd court me, be there for me
Then you'd abort me, you couldn't see
I know- your conscience told me so
It didn't take long for me to find all the clues
That I was just your crutch for your little boy blues
And now you're telling me things, only helping yourself
Why don't you save your lies for somebody else?
What do I look like to you?
What do I look like to you?
Am I just her?
Am I just her?
Can I be me?
Oh, what do I look like to you?
What do I look like to you?
Am I just her?
Am I just her?
What do I look like to you?
What do I look like to you?
Am I just her?
Am I just her?
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4. |
Perfect
03:57
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You tell me I'm beautiful when I look like hell
You can make me fall asleep in your arms when I wanna yell
How did you know?
How did you know everything I am?
You can make me laugh baby, when I wanna cry
You make me smile with just that look in your eye
What nobody could,
What nobody could do, ooh baby you can
And oh, you are perfect for me
Yeah, I am perfect for you
There ain't nothing to do but love
Oh baby it's just so easy to have fun with you
It don't matter when, it don't matter what we do
Baby it's just you, I think that it's you
Ooh, it's just you
And I could lie here in bed with you all day
And baby, that'd be okay with me
Cause baby it's true, you know that it's true
I'm crazy about you
And oh, you are perfect for me
Yeah, I am perfect for you
Baby, there ain't nothing to do but love
And all the things I wanted for so long
Before I thought had come along
Baby it all just went so wrong
And then you came and opened the door
To things I'd never felt before
And the only thing you leave me wanting is more
You are perfect for me
Baby, there ain't nothing to be but loved
Oh, you are perfect for me
Yeah, I am perfect for you
Baby, there ain't nothing to do but love
All we've gotta do is love
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5. |
Another Lover
02:28
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Baby, I've been thinking, we've been doing this a while
I used to dig your figure, I used to like your style
But lately something's different, I think you can see it too
Funny that you say that, I was gonna say the same to you
Don't you think it's time we find another lover
Don't you think it's time we went our separate ways
All the things you are are better for another
Foolish is the one who loves and overstays
You're a bitch cause you like it
You're an ass cause you don't
Sometimes when I'm with you I would rather be alone
It's that sweet emotion that we saw in better days
That's gone by the wayside so let's go our own ways
Don't you think it's time we find another lover
Don't you think it's time we went our separate ways
All the things you are are better for another
Foolish is the one who loves and overstays
What we had was so beautiful
We were so physical, for you I'd risk it all
And then in time it seems we grew apart
And that fire, spark, seems to have left my heart
Don't you think it's time we find another lover
Don't you think it's time we went our separate ways
All the things you are are better for another
Foolish is the one who loves and overstays
Don't you think it's time we find another lover
Don't you think it's time we went our separate ways
All the things you are are better for another
Foolish is the one who loves and overstays
Don't you think it's time we find another lover
Don't you think it's time we went our separate ways
All the things you are are better for another
Foolish is the one who loves and overstays
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6. |
Beautiful Hands
06:13
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A little girl, in for a doctor's appointment
Misread her mother's quiet disappointment
As they both walked down a lonely wallpaper hall
They tightened their grip as they walked hand in hand
And both in ways the other could not understand
Thought, "this is all my fault"
And the stares 'round the office seemed to such a novice
To be so cold
They only felt sorry she was only seven years old
Her mother said "please don't cry,
You and I,
We have something not everyone will understand.
Just keep a clean wrist
And unclench your angry fists
Because within them, I know you have beautiful hands."
And the ghosts of the past rushed to her mother's side
And seeing them now in her daughter, she started to cry
When the girl saw no toys or kids' books on the shelf
That's when she knew that there was something wrong with herself
Then the doctor walked in with just short of a grin
With the news that her mother had feared
So she looked at her daughter, and everything she taught her
And the hardest lesson came as she teared
She said "please don't cry,
You and I,
We have something not everyone will understand.
Just keep a clean wrist
And unclench your angry fists
Because within them, I know you have beautiful hands."
You are everything I wished I could be
You are everything I wished I could be, oh
You have always had the heart of me
I wish it didn't have to come with this part of me
Mama, please don't cry
Mama, don't you cry
Because you and I, we're in this together
Please don't cry
You and I
We have something not everyone will understand
Just keep a clean wrist
And unclench your angry fists
Because within them, I know you have beautiful hands
Because within them, I know you have beautiful hands
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7. |
Immersion
05:06
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I wanna be truthful, to start this off right
But somehow I don't think you'll want me by the end of the night
So until I get the courage, I'm just spitting out meaningless rhymes
And you'll flash me a smile or a flirtatious wink
I wish I could understand the way that you think
Because I don't think you know how God damn scary it is to be me sometimes
Well, now my cards are on the table, this is what you've got yourself into
I am unstable, I will immerse myself in you
And I'll take you slowly, to soak you all in
And let the blessed osmosis begin
For I am a nomad, I am a wandering parasite
And you will accept it, the imperfect bliss
And you will seal it with an imperfect kiss
And then I will take you, and you will know my endless night
It is a travesty, that which you've gotten yourself into
Good morning, your majesty, I have immersed myself in you
I wish you well, I wish you well
Now that you've fallen so deeply into my venomous spell
I wish you well, I wish you well
For not everyone survives this celestial hell, oh
But I tried to warn you, I tried to resist
And right up until that moment we kissed
I thought I could do it, I thought I could keep my heart under control
You thought you could save me, held tight in your arms
But baby, in this world you've irrelevant charms
You thought you took my heart, but it was your happiness I stole
So write to your mother, tell her the life you now pursue
I am so sorry, I have immersed myself in you
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8. |
This Place
02:39
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I live on a tiny brick road
In the middle of a city where nobody knows about you, ooh
And the people drive cars propped five feet high
And the people get by doing any little thing they can do, ooh
And I got my bike seat stolen
I hate this fucking town
But somehow I'm still rollin' high
Cause you never come around this place
Out here it always smells like soy
But it's better than a boy who never took a shower for me, ee
And I can't leave my apartment after 7pm
With my lipstick on without some kind of weapon on me
And I backed into a dumpster
In my own damn parking lot
And I don't know where you are but
I thank my stars it's not this place
Cause it ain't hard to find something better
Than the life I led when we were together
No it ain't hard to find something better than you
And on my tiny brick road
In the middle of a city where there really ain't nothing to do, ooh
I sit in my living room and write my songs
And I drink my beer, and I forget all about you
And this place ain't nothing special
But you can't say much more for yourself
And a thousand days in this hellhole
Beats one day with you anywhere else
And I might live check to check
In a small apartment in the bad part of town
But I wouldn't move for nothing
Cause I know you'd never come around this place
And I love living on a tiny brick road
In the middle of a city where nobody knows about you
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Emily Henderson Chicago, Illinois
Emily Henderson is a singer/songwriter located in the Chicago suburbs.
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